On Conquering Creative Fears and Blocks
I’ve been struggling to put out content for my new tarot reading business. So I did what I always do when I have a problem, I went to my cards.
I created the tarot spread below for times when there’s something holding you back and you’re ready to find out what it is and release it. I hope the spread serves you. Keep reading to see how it served me and my interpretation of the cards that came forward.
If you’d like a personalized help around what’s keeping you stuck using this spread click here to book a reading.
Here’s the layout of the spread I used. It’s an original spread that was really potent and powerful. I encourage you to use it in your own practice!
If you like this spread, check out my weekly #SpreadLoveSundays on Instagram for more original spreads.
Here are the questions of the spread.
Remember, your tarot practice is a personal practice, so feel free to rephrase the questions as needed.
✨ Here’s my what came forward & my interpretation ✨
What are we being invited to release about the situation?
Temperance.
Whew. In Tarot For Change author Jessica Dore writes:
“Systemic oppression is made possible by creating rigid categories of people and then maintaining the illusion that such divisions are legitimate.”
I think I am doing that with my content. There’s good content and there’s bad content. There’s bingeable content and there’s boring content. But, I, as the creator, am making the fatal mistake of thinking, at this early stage in my creative development, that I know what that is for other people.
I don’t.
That all or nothing thinking around my content, heavily influences what sees the light of day. And with my Virgo rising and Capricorn stellium, the editing can become so brutal that almost nothing I create sees the light of day!
That’s not helpful and its creating the opposite result of what I want. I want a bustling community of tarot readers, aspiring tarot readers and tarot enthusiasts. I want to teach; I want to learn. I can’t do any of that if I’m not even signaling to people that I’m into tarot, let alone pretty well versed if I do say so myself.
Temperance is inviting me to release the dichotomous thinking. Content is creation. Let it just be that. Put it out and let the people decide. Put it out. Let the people decide.
Trust myself to make something worth seeing and then LET PEOPLE SEE.
Who is my biggest ally and teacher in releasing the trapped energy here?
6 of wands
This is when I knew this spread was about to hit different. This is such a beautiful card in this position.
I get to define success every step of the way.
I also need to make sure that I am not allowing my inner child to use my business to feel good enough, smart enough, worthy enough or any other form of validation I didn’t get in childhood. That’s not what this is for. I am in charge of giving her those things, and she doesn’t need to book any readings to deserve them.
6 of wands is a warning. Me and my husband have a short hand for when we see the other person overworking. We’ll ask “How much a dollar cost?” It’s a nod to one of our favorite rappers Kendrick Lamar.
The essence of the question is what are you paying for that money. Society wants to gloss over the intangibles that we exchange for money everyday, like time and energy. Those are finite resources. You only have so much time on this planet and so much energy in a given day.
6 of wands is a warning that you don’t want to celebrate that you got the thing at the expense of the next succession of cards. The hypervigilant, contentious 7, the uncertain 8, the browbeaten 9 and the overwhelmed 10.
A victory at what cost? I get to define that and make sure that the stakes never get higher than I want to pay. One of the most liberating things I realized on my healing journey is that “you can stop at anytime”.
6 of wands is urging me to keep my sense of success, my definition of success, integral to my values.
What is the energy that I could embody to help me release this energy?
5 of wands
Remember my parts work. There are dissenting parts in there and the parts are dissenting because they think being seen on the internet will kill me. I’m not kidding. I’ve seen, which means they’ve seen, people on the internet get absolutely lampooned. (Both deservingly and undeservingly.) And it’s scary to them. Which I totally get.
Anything our brains fear is ultimately because on some level, some part of us thinks it’s going to kill us. Scared of the dark? It’s because you think something in the dark is going to kill you. Scared of large bodies of water? Yeah, because large bodies of water can kill you. Scared of creepy crawlies? Makes sense, one of them may be venomous and kill you.
I’m scared of being seen, because what if it kills me? The 5 of wands energy I need to embody is to go toe to toe with these thoughts, with compassion of course. But not shy away, not give in and say, “ugh if this was meant to be it’d be easier.” Where did I get that load of hogwash?
Birthing my daughter was not easy, but it was the only path forward. It was the only path I wanted. And I did it.
Being a creative, a writer, a reader, a healer isn’t easy. But its my path forward. It’s the one I want. I will do it.
And I will soothe my parts as they attempt to pick up a wand and beat me with it for fear of dying.
What does this energy want to be transmuted into?
The Fool and the Star
Omg, I literally almost cried when these came out. I mean of course!
The Fool wants me to have the audacity to try.
“The Fool invites us to remember there is no ground underneath us anyway.”
I am being seen all the time. I am sharing my content with others all the time. I just happen to know them in a personal way. And they all say it’s impactful.
My husband will sit on the couch after a long day and say “Ok coach…” and proceed to recount in vivid detail his current issue. And you know what, we work through it.
Fool says, you’re already doing it. Just let people know you can do it for them. I, maybe, can help you with that. And it’s such a gift to be chosen to do so.
And the Star. Aquarian energy! Star says it’s okay to get your hopes up around this. That’s so courageous to be hopeful.
I heard someone on TikTok say “It takes 10 years to become an overnight success.”
That was so powerful to me. To maintain focus for 10 years and finally gain to acknowledgment of your peers, but no one was there for all those 8 of pentacles moments throughout the 10 years.
I need to examine my barriers to hope. What am I afraid of? Disappointment, maybe? Lack of progress? Failure, whatever that looks like (again I have to double edged sword of definition in my corner here too. As a Virgo rising, that can be dangerous.
Whatever those barriers are, I need to give myself the patience and love needed to dissolve or disarm them. Hope transmutes fear.
What is the ultimate lesson here? What medicine can move forward with me?
Empress, 8 of wands, and 3 of cups
Empress says dial up your ability to receive other people’s attention. It’s not going to kill you.
Empress is also inviting me to remember my body. The body is infinitely wise. I don’t tell my heart to beat or my lungs to breathe or my liver how much bile to create. My body does that for herself.
Consciousness is not all that I am. I am in a beautiful relationship with this body and I need to give body a seat at the table too. I need to give body the mic and allow her to speak as well.
That makes me emotional to think about because for a long time I ignored my body for mental pursuits. I am 33 just now coming back up the driveway to greet her. I left when she was a child.
We are learning each other again, and it has been delightful and difficult and momentous and daunting and everything that I needed.
Empress is a beautiful reminder that that is essential work as I am showing up in a healing space for others.
8 of wands says find the balance between allowing and doing. Control the controllables and let the wands fall where they may.
8 of wands is strangely also a card that reminds me to be grateful for what is. I mean there are 8 flaming wands in the air on this card. We don’t know where they’re going to land, we don’t know where they came from or if they have a target.
But were getting to witness them flying across the sky. So at least they’re not coming at us.
8 of wands also traditionally symbolizes movement. I think the other message here is that nothing happens then everything happens. I may be plodding along at this for awhile then gain notoriety and I need to be ready for that. Last time I gained unexpected notoriety I ran like a Raid misted cockroach.
This is an invitation to be ready this time.
And 3 of cups bringing on the rear. Have a sacred group that you can work with and bounce ideas off of.
Being a solo business owner has never been super duper appealing to me. I want to work with others often and maybe even run a business together. I’m so excited for the future because I have some amazing collabs coming and I think that is so 3 of cups.
Keep people around that make you want to raise a glass to them, with them and for them.
Thank you for reading, if you use this spread, I’d love to know what came out for you and how you interpreted it in the comments.
Wishing you metta, karuna, and delights big and small,
Alyssa
